Shandershow | On 25, Feb 2013

If this wasn’t the internet, and repercussions weren’t waiting for anything you admit to now a days; I’d gladly share stories of walking through Walmart early early Sunday mornings, years ago at Gettysburg College. But I’ll save those for the book I’m gathering, until then, we have a double whammy of Walmart fun. I must say, the thought of stealing a cart never did cross my mind at G-burg, as the scenery walking around was entertainment enough. But then again, being wasted and rolling down a pretty big road, well that’s just pure joy. Oh, add the whole wrong way thing and it being the ungodly hour of nearly 4am.

That’s the major problem with the whole “I just found it” response, you have so many other things stacked against you. Tell me that line at 4pm during rush hour and you are sober? OK, I’m letting you walk. As for excuses, there were few around for another rider of a Walmart scooter, this time in Ohio. (What is it with the Midwest and Walmart?)

So I get that the guy needs the scooter, at 500 pounds you need a lot of assistance all over. But there remains the issue of this dumb ass thinking that setting a fire in a department store would be a good “diversion” to lift among other things, “safes”? But wait… It does get better. “The suspect tried to sneak out in the chaos, but chose a locked door” I’m a little curious as to where this man lives that a 500 pound guy on a scooter can simply sneak out of anywhere. The even better news, not 20 miles away, he was right back at it and arrested for…you guessed it, shoplifting at a Walmart.